Bittman Bliss Blog

I’m not sure why, but still I sometimes tend to operate in life as if one of the “beatitudes” said, “Blessed are the control freaks, for they shall inherit the earth.” It would surely boggle my mind, if I chose to actually do so, to consider how much time, energy, focus, creativity and power I expend in the futile pursuit of controlling other people, events, the world, etc. No wonder I feel overwhelmed at times. No wonder I even, once in a while, imagine that there’s nothing I can do as an individual that would make a dent in the problems I see in the world. In attempting to force the world to conform to my ideas of it, there’s nothing left in me to actually consider and take effective action!

When I think about it, my heroes these days tend to be people who seem(ed) to direct their entire beings toward the only thing they could truly control: their own state of consciousness. These heroes exerted their power in order to transform themselves so that only love, compassion, forgiveness, joy and peace remained. I include folks such as Gandhi, Teresa of Avila, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Aung San Suu Kyi,the Buddha, Jesus. A quick check of this list reveals the incredible impact these people have made on the world. Elie Wiesel, a concentration camp survivor and Nobel Peace Prize winner, said, “Ultimately, the only power to which man should aspire is that which he exercises over himself.” Somehow, after losing his whole family in the Holocaust and living through inconceivably horrible conditions he devoted the rest of his life to forgiveness and peace principles. And because of that, he single-handedly requested and received the first formal apology issued by the German government for their role in the Holocaust.

None of these heroes of mine had easy lives, but they became peacemakers in the truest and biggest senses of the word. They always seemed to have reserves of strength and resources at their disposal that they used to create and perform effective action. By their very presence, they reminded people of what is good and beautiful and true. So I figure if they could do it, so can I. Indeed, to “be peace” has been my foremost intention for at least 2 decades, and it’s nearly always what this blog is about. It’s become pretty clear to me by now that trying to control everything other than what I can does not bring me to peace or leave me free to do what is mine to do in the most impactful ways. On the contrary, it’s more like imitating a hamster on a wheel; it takes lots of energy (and perhaps fun at times) but gets me nowhere. Fast.

As I’ve explored and unfolded this intention to take mastery over my own consciousness, it has also become clear I’m the one making the choice to evict myself from my true and innate state of peace and love, consciously or not. And lately I’ve noticed perhaps the foremost way I accomplish this: through the things I say to myself.

Lately I’ve been paying lots of attention to my self-talk and, though I’m happy to say it has improved immensely, it could still use some work. Just the other day Hillary and I were having a mildly heated disagreement, and during a lull in the proceedings I became aware of what I was saying to myself. A lot of it was about things wrong with Hillary that she needed to change so I could be happy and peaceful. A little of it was about how I, being such a spiritual person, should know better. None of it brought me back to peace and love. So, with this awareness, I was able to stop and remind myself that I love Hillary more than anything else in the world, and that she loved me too. I saw she had temporarily forgotten, just as I had. And I was able to then express love from a more peaceful place, which helped a lot.

Actually, I can’t really control my own consciousness either, but I can be a better steward of it. I can plant better seeds and take better care of the soil. I can nurture it and give it loving attention. In doing this I’ve discovered that my self-talk becomes a huge part of the background music of my awareness. In our Unity studies, Hillary and I saw a video of street scenes in New Your City. It was set to rap music and seemed very abrupt, frantic and hard to watch. Then the whole scene began to repeat itself, this time to classical music. It was then we noticed that in every scene, someone was helping or serving someone. None of us saw that the first time around. I’m not judging rap music (well…); I’m pointing out how important the background music is. It changes our perspective on everything. So as I’m exerting my power on my own consciousness, it’s critical I address the background music. When my self-talk is un-peaceful, it’s difficult for me to access peace. As my self-talk becomes truer, more loving and more peaceful, so does my life experience.

A long time ago at a chiropractic seminar, a speaker shared, “If I talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you’d come up here and kick me in the butt.” My response at the time was, “How did he know?” Today I’m thankful for this: I have practiced some sort of affirmations and affirmative prayer in the subsequent 25 years, and now I finally understand why. Consciously and repeatedly reminding myself that I am good, worthy, loving and lovable, despite thoughts or behaviors to the contrary, has brought my self-talk to a truer, more loving and peaceful level, and it has brought me there along with it. I still forget, for sure, but the trip “home” is a lot more familiar and much easier to find.

Yes indeed, I still forget. And I’m allowing that to affect my self-talk less and less. I imagine my heroes forgot sometimes, but they had more important things to do than beat themselves up. So do I. So do all of us.

And if that’s all we remember, that’s more than enough for now. 

 Quick, what do Donald Duck and Moe of the Three Stooges have in common? If you get this one, you’re good (or, you looked at the title of this piece and guessed)! Besides the fact that I adored both of them as a child, the answer is that they both often exclaimed, “Hey, what’s the big idea?” They said it when they were annoyed about something, which they often were, but what’s interesting to me is how meaningful that question has become in my life and also how the refrain has been picked up by other heroes and teachers along my way.

For instance, at some point in my chiropractic journey I found that B.J. Palmer, the developer of chiropractic, had said, “Get the big idea, all else follows.” B.J. was saying that when one owned and embodied the bigidea of chiropractic, its grand purpose of restoring the expression of life through the body and thus reconnecting the physical with the spiritual, then everything else followed: motivation, success, fulfillment, what to say and do; even the healing results achieved. Another of my chiropractic mentors, Dr. John Demartini, said it this way, “When the ‘why’ is big enough, the ‘how’s take care of themselves.”

Then later on in my Unity studies, we were taught that the creative process follows a definite order, described as mind-idea-manifestation. Everything begins in mind (consciousness), and it’s the ideas that we hold dominant in our mind that determine what manifests in our life. The emphasis then rests on the ideas, not the manifestation. And while we’re focusing on ideas, why not make them big ideas, like love, joy, wholeness, compassion and abundance? I believe all this was stated best by another of my mentors, Jesus, when he said, “Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven, and all these things shall be added unto you.”

For me, the Kingdom of Heaven is right within my own consciousness; that place within me that knows only love, joy, wholeness, compassion and abundance. It’s that place in which you and I abide together in oneness. As I’ve hung out in that place more and more in my life, I’ve learned that what I truly desire is not so much the things, but those aspects of being, such as love, peace and joy, that I’d thought I could only have by obtaining the things. I’ve learned I can experience and enjoy those aspects right now, with or without the things, and regardless of whether I label the experiences of my life as “good” or “bad.”

In an important way, this flies in the face of the Law of Attraction, as taught in movies like The Secret. It seems as though that is based much more on focusing on the manifestation. We’re told to think about the car, money, health result, perfect mate, etc, visualize and affirm it, see ourselves having it and feel what that would be like and we will attract it to us. Not that this formula doesn’t “work” in bringing me what I want. For much of my chiropractic career, for example, my goal was to adjust 500 people in a week. I thought that reaching this goal would bring me joy and fulfillment. I applied the formula for years and eventually reached my goal. Unfortunately, I quickly realized it didn’t bring me what I thought it would. There wasn’t even a ticker tape parade! Almost immediately my mind wanted to grasp onto a new goal. I then realized that all along the way, I had been focusing on what I thought I lacked, and because of that I’d often felt frustrated and that I was “doing it wrong.”

Now I see that all the things I have always truly desired (such as joy and fulfillment) are already within me, waiting to be expressed and experienced. They don’t even have to be “added unto me”; I just need to keep them center stage in my mind. So I’m now much more focused on the goodness than on the goodies, as one of my Unity teachers puts it. When the lens through which I look at life is centered in the biggest ideas I know of, I see more of all that in me and my life. When I get and hold the biggest possible idea for myself, that idea becomes my beacon, guides my choices and allows me to live in freedom, joy and gratitude. It allows me to experience those beautiful truths that I used to think only came from material things, right here and right now. And when I notice I’m holding some other idea of myself, one based on old limiting beliefs and tapes, I hear Donald or Moe asking, “Hey, what’s the big idea?” It’s a beautiful reminder.

I’ll get more specific on this in future posts. In the meantime, if that’s all we remember, that’s more than enough for now.

Well, there’s only 364 shopping days left before we officially honor and celebrate Mother Earth again, and just that fact alone would seem to indicate that the human species remains a trifle disconnected from this beautiful planet that is our home. Many of us see the earth as nothing more than a hostile environment, obviously prone to inconveniencing us at every possible turn. We complain about the weather, we hide under and behind protective walls, we spend a fortune blocking out the sun’s rays, etc. Somewhere in all this we seem to have lost our grasp on the idea that the earth is even more than our home; it nurtures us, it provides for us, it is part of us. When we disconnect from it we disconnect from ourselves.

For me this represents an even more fundamental challenge. How do we stop fragmenting ourselves in general? As I’ve noted before, I often think one thing, feel another, say a third and do a fourth. More specifically for this post, how much of my life have I spent wishing I was somewhere other than where I was? I’m feeling blessed that I have neither the ability nor the inclination to figure it out.

Many of us often wish we were in a different place geographically. When we’re at work, we wish we were home. When we’re home, we wish we were on vacation or that the weekend would hurry up and arrive. When we’re on vacation, we wish we were permanently on vacation or retired. We often wish we were in a different place in consciousness, too. We compare ourselves to some idea we hold of how we should be, we tell ourselves we should know better than to get angry or be judgmental; that we should be further along than we are on our spiritual journey. No wonder we’re fragmented!

All this brings to mind a quote I heard years ago from Charles “Tremendous” Jones, a well-known motivational public speaker who passed away a few years ago: “If you ain’t happy where you are, you sure as heck won’t be happy where you ain’t.”

Yes! When I’m wishing I’m somewhere else, I AM somewhere else, but unfortunately I’ve left my capacity for love, joy, fun and peace back where I was! Those capacities are within me, so I need to be there too. Obviously in some situations and places I find it easier to access those capacities, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are generated from within me. The same places where I find it easier to access joy and fun might be exceedingly challenging for someone else. So apparently it’s not the place!

When I’m in a situation or a job or a place that I hate and wish I were elsewhere, it’s next to impossible for me to not only access those capacities, but also for me to notice what’s good about where I am. A friend of mine recently came back from Sequoia National Park having had a mystical experience upon seeing the huge, ancient trees. This was interesting to me because I know he doesn’t have those kinds of experiences here in Tahoe. In fact, he often complains about living here, even though this area does not lack for beauty. I asked him what he thought the difference was there, and he responded that it was simply how different those trees were. This got me thinking: what if we stopped wishing we were somewhere else and instead continually looked at where we were with fresh eyes and with open minds and hearts? Is it possible we’d notice more things that were different, good, beautiful and true?

My dog never seems to wish she were somewhere else. She has her preferences, for sure. But wherever she is, she still seems to express 100% of her joy. When my daughter was young, she never wanted to be somewhere else. In fact, it was the opposite: wherever she was, she never wanted to leave, even if it was from a place she resisted visiting to begin with!

As we become more OK with where we are, even if it’s a place or job or situation in which we’d rather not be, we can become more adept at still being ourselves. We can awaken to greater and greater depths of our own being. We can cultivate our ability to access joy and fun so when we’re actually on vacation or retired, we’ll be able to enjoy it even more!

This is particularly valuable on the spiritual journey. The only place we can unfold more of our greatness and beauty is right where we are. The Buddha became enlightened while sitting under a tree. He didn’t have to move an inch. When asked what he’d become, he said “awake”. We, too, can awaken to a bigger and vaster vision of ourselves right where we are. Only where we are!

So, perhaps the next time you find yourself wishing you were somewhere other than where you are, you can say to yourself, “I may not be where I want to be, but right where I am I can be who I want to be.” That’s what I intend to do. As we do, I can see a time when Earth Day will no longer be necessary. It will be redundant.

If that’s all we remember, that’s more than enough for now.

The Easter eggs have all been hunted down and the lovely outfits neatly stashed away for another year. I picture the Easter bunny sleeping in this morning, dreaming of the upcoming vacation it annually enjoys with Santa Claus (they like to go this time of the year because not too many people travel around tax time), where they rest, celebrate and also commiserate over the loss of meaning around the holidays they represent.

If they happen to vacation in Tahoe this year and I run into them, I’ll ask them to forgive us, for in many respects we know not what we do. We are creatures of meaning. Our entire reality is framed by what we make things mean and once we’ve decided on what something means it’s hard for us to see past that. We often create those meanings at a very early age, and do so based on what others tell us. Such is the case with holidays like Easter.

Growing up Jewish, I initially attached no meaning around it at all, other than the fact that every Good Friday I got to join my father at his place of business (a large insurance company) because there was only a “skeleton crew”. In other words, the only folks around were the handful of Jews working for the company. Playing with the adding machines (hey, we’re talking the 60’s here) and going out to lunch with my dad in Manhattan was such a thrill. I was aware, and somewhat jealous, of the egg thing, but other than that the holiday was just an extra day off from school.

I distinctly remember when I learned the traditional meaning of Easter. I was 8 or 9 years old, hanging out on my block just before Easter, and was enlightened on the subject by one of the neighborhood girls. At some point in her explanation, she transfigured right before my eyes into a pretty good imitation of Mr. Hyde, pointed at me and shouted, “And you killed Him!” I was confused and immediately defended myself: “I’m pretty sure I’d remember that!” “The Jews killed him”, she elaborated, still fairly foaming at the mouth. I was taken aback for a moment. Luckily, I had a strong need to be right even back then. She was younger than I was, and I hadn’t heard that in Sunday School at our Temple, so I figured she didn’t know what she was talking about and I lovingly shared with her something related to her I.Q. and left.

In a way it has bothered me a little bit ever since. Apparently for her at least part of the meaning of Easter was a reminder to hate. And even then I thought it was highly unlikely she came to that idea herself without hearing it from someone else. Thoughts of Easter brought no fun at all (though I still enjoyed Good Friday!).

The incident also affected the meanings I created and held around Jesus for many years. In the early days of my conscious spiritual journey, it was hard for me to relate to anything even mentioning his name. The text of A Course in Miracles, for instance, was impossible for me, even though the ideas did resonate. Since then, through my experiences, my Unity education and my current studies to become an Interfaith Minister, I have come to love Jesus as a teacher and example. And I find it ironic and sad that hate has managed to come anywhere near a holiday that honors someone who mastered the way of love.

For most Christians, the meaning of Easter couldn’t get any bigger. The resurrection of Jesus, after all, is the explanation for all Christian beliefs and the fundamental reason for Christianity’s existence. This, interestingly, makes it perhaps the most significant event to have ever occurred in the Western world (imagine our history and culture without Christianity for a moment), whether or not it ever really happened. Why we commemorate it with eggs and bunnies is another story.

For me, it doesn’t really matter whether it happened or not. It still carries great meaning. I see the resurrection as a reminder to focus on Jesus’ life and teachings, not so much on this death. I see it as a reminder to follow him in participating more fully in life. Not so much the movie starring limitation, perception and appearances that we all experience, but the omnipresent, eternal life that is one of the qualities of God and therefore of you and I. Jesus was inviting us to experience a more expanded vision and awareness of the unlimited life and love that we each truly are.

That Life is the whole spirit, presence, and love of God. It is not restricted to a body nor can it be contained in a tomb. It may change form or appear to be lost, but it can’t be. Whatever we’ve done or haven’t done, whatever limitations or lack we may believe about ourselves, Life is spirit and we are spirit, eternal, ageless, immortal, whole and complete. Jesus taught that we could tap into that eternal life right here and right now. We don’t have to die or wait for the future, but we must move in consciousness from our present identification with ego and the material world toward identification with what is changeless and eternal within us.

Every time we identify more with this Life, we rise again. Whenever we move past some limitation it’s like we’ve come to life; we’ve resurrected. We do not die once.  We all die many times.  Parts of us die all the time. We’ve all experienced loss, pain and grief. We’ve all let go of many things, consciously and unconsciously.  We forgive, we move on, we grow, we evolve. Time and again we have risen from difficulty and discovered qualities within us that we would not have known had we not been forced to explore the depths of our being.

There’s life after divorce, a major illness, a job loss or bankruptcy or the death of a loved one. These are our crucifixions, and when we apply Truth principles and rise again we are a different person, as aspects of our divine wholeness literally come to life. 

Maybe we don’t believe we can overcome physical death but we can certainly use the Easter message to remind us we can rise again no matter what’s going on. We can go beyond present circumstances to a new opportunity and a new vision for ourselves. Does that mean that what might be going on isn’t sad, painful or extremely difficult? NO, but it does mean that we don’t have to stay in a tomb forever. Right within us is everything we need to rise again and experience life, joy and love in bigger and more beautiful ways.

If that’s all we remember, that’s more than enough for now.

Gandhi said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.” In addition to happiness, I can see that when my consciousness is in harmony, when all aspects of it are centered and focused on my deepest intentions and values, I also experience peace, serenity, joy, strength and the manifestation of my dreams. When I am whole and one in my consciousness, I experience my true state of wholeness and oneness.

I also notice quite clearly how this is easier said than done. I am whole, but I fragment myself in so many ways. I hold things on myself and reject those parts of myself I’m not so crazy about. I sometimes have trouble forgiving others, making them responsible for my feelings and moods, and therefore give them some of my focus and my power. I sometimes separate my spiritual life from the rest of my life. Often I think one thing, feel another, say a third and do a fourth!

Speaking of things being easier said than done, if I had a nickel for every time I said one thing and did another, Bill Gates would be asking me for loans. It’s like the old Italian proverb: “Between saying and doing, many of pair of shoes is worn out.” Not to mention all the times I’ve thought something and said another, thought something and didn’t do it (wow, that’s a big one. Have you ever noticed that the most effective way to NOT do something is to think about doing it?); all the combinations and permutations make my head spin. Which might be an improvement.

My mind is not only a world traveler but a time traveler. It can zip between here and there and between past and future at something approaching the speed of light. Sometimes I’ll be near the end of a wonderful hike or a delicious meal, and suddenly realize I haven’t really noticed or tasted a thing. My body was hiking or eating, but my mind was in some other place or time.

So, I’ve decided that the most important thing for me to do in order to fulfill my desire to have a more harmonious and unified consciousness is to practice holding my attention. Here’s what I’m going to do, and I invite you to join me. I’m going to do one thing at a time, and I’m going to give it my full attention. I’m OK with my mind doing its traveling thing, but I intend to have some say about where it goes. At the very least I’d like to know that it left! I’m going to practice holding my attention on what I’m doing, even if it’s mundane or what I have perceived as boring. I will no longer attempt to juggle eating with texting, thinking about what so and so said yesterday and filling out my to-do list. I am a uni-tasker!

There would be tremendous value in giving my full attention to my thoughts, feelings and words, too, but for now I’m going to focus on my actions, since I believe my actions are what contribute most to my growth and unfolding. Even when my thinking is stinking, if I’m paying attention, I can still choose to do what is most aligned with my core values. Right now I can even choose to start doing all those things I’ve thought myself out of over the years, all those things I know in my heart would make my life better and bring more light into this world.

While I’m paying attention, I’m confident I’ll have a better chance of choosing actions that help to create things that are good and beautiful and true. And through taking action, I’m also confident that more of what’s good and beautiful and true will filter back into my thoughts and feelings and even my words. All this from simply paying attention. It’s a small price to pay!

If that’s all we remember, that’s more than enough for now.

 That sound you may have just heard was a yet another blog popping into cyberspace. I ask myself why (something I do a lot of, without a great deal of value for the effort). There seem to be enough ideas floating around the world wide web. Sometimes I think there are too many already: There are so many ideas that the Universe is getting crowded. There must be a plug around here somewhere to let some ideas out. It’s filling up fast, so if you plan on having any ideas you’ll have to wait until February when we have an opening.

I guess it’s important to me to throw mine in the mix, both for myself and for the mix. The mix could use as much positivity at it can get.

Yes, the problems of this world can certainly appear to be insurmountable. I don’t deny they exist. I also believe it has probably always been that way. For instance, I recently came across this quote: “Our earth is degenerate in these latter days; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; and the end of the world is evidently approaching.” The interesting thing about this quote is that it was found on an Assyrian clay tablet; dated 2800 B.C. Apparently there’ve always been things to fret about, especially if one was looking for them. And apparently there’ve always been opportunities to fret about them publically.

And there’ve probably always been hopeless optimists like me. I stand accused. I believe that this world is still transformable, because I know that people are transformable. I see it every day. I see cynicism being transformed into hope. I see futility and frustration and fear being transformed into fulfillment and fruitful action and freedom. I see people making different choices, reaching out, asking for help, offering help. I see people caring, sharing, feeling and healing on all levels.

Call me crazy, but I believe people are inherently good. And that’s exactly what makes personal and global transformation possible. We may hear more about the bad, but there are countless folks doing fantastically positive things on this planet and in our communities, most of which we’ll never hear about. There is an incredible abundance of love and compassion and generosity in this world. We tend to see it after tragic events like 9-11 (my birthday), which tells me it’s in each and every one of us, all the time. We see it more in those times because we’re looking for it. We need it! But we couldn’t see it at all, in those circumstances or ever, if it wasn’t already there.

What if we looked for the good more of the time? I’m not talking about being Pollyanna. I’m not saying, “It’s all good”. I’m saying that whatever is happening, we can look for the good; we can use it for good, for love, for healing, for increasing our awareness. It’s a choice. When our “background music” becomes more about negativity, complaining, resenting and worrying, everything that happens seems to provide more evidence that the world is going to the dogs; everything gives us more to complain about. If we were to look for the good more of the time, I imagine we’d see more of that. And I imagine we’d also be in a more positive, grateful and productive mode in order to take effective action to change things, if that’s what we chose to do.

How do we do that? That’s what this blog will be about. We are each a unique and indispensible ingredient in the mix and as we become more skillful in expressing our deepest values and intentions we continue to sweeten it. If that’s all we remember, that’s more than enough for now.