It\u2019s funny how my perspective on things can change so much, especially on things I was once absolutely convinced about. If only I can remember that when I become so convinced about an opinion or perspective that I make someone else wrong!<\/p>\n
For instance, I used to ridicule the idea of changing the past. In fact, whenever I taught a workshop or class on forgiveness, I\u2019d invariably say something like, \u201cWhen we choose not to forgive someone, what we\u2019re really doing is attempting to change our past.\u201d The idea was, since the past couldn\u2019t be changed, it was important to forgive so we could move on in the present. That\u2019s a good idea, yet what I didn\u2019t realize then was that not only is it possible to change the past, it is almost impossible to forgive until I do.<\/p>\n
Before I talk about how, wouldn\u2019t it be nice if it was possible and it really did make forgiveness easier? I realize that the wounds I carry from the past are probably the major impediment to my enjoyment of life right now. But somehow I continue to not only carry them, but also to replay them over and over in my mind. In a book I\u2019m currently reading, A Spiritual Renegade\u2019s Guide to the Good Life, by Lama Marut, the author equates this behavior with running with scissors. We know it\u2019s not a good idea, it hurts, and yet not only do we refuse to drop the scissors, we stab ourselves with them again and again.<\/p>\n
In no way am I intending to minimize or negate the horrible things that happened in your life and mine. When I work to change my past, I endeavor to start with the \u201csmall stuff.\u201d I run with scissors of every conceivable size and sharpness, and it makes sense to start working with the smaller and duller ones. As I practice and my forgiveness muscles get stronger, I can work more and more with the nastier ones. But before I can do any of that, it\u2019s important that I actually believe it is possible to change the past.<\/p>\n
Certainly it is impossible to change the events, the circumstances or the hard data from the past. But it is equally certain that I can change my perspective on what happened, the meaning I assign to it, and my understanding of it. When I do these things, in a very real way I am indeed changing the past, because the past only exists in the form of how I think about it now. The past isn\u2019t really \u201cwhat happened\u201d, but \u201cwhat I think happened\u201d in this moment. I tend to think of my memories as solid and etched in stone, but that\u2019s just what I tend to think!<\/p>\n
Hey, history books change the past all the time. Hollywood, too. When was the last time you saw or read about Native Americans being ignorant God-less savages, who only served to provide target practice for John Wayne? Did the events from that era change, or did our perspective and understanding change? History books even have a name for this\u2014they call it \u201crevisionist history.\u201d What I\u2019m suggesting is that we wrote our own history book, and have every right to revise it.<\/p>\n
Have you ever been absolutely convinced of something, only to find out you were wrong? This happens to me quite often. I wonder how many times I was wrong and didn\u2019t find out! A perspective is simply a perspective, and it doesn\u2019t necessarily reflect reality. Can you and I look at the same thing and have a different perspective? Can I look at the same thing I looked at yesterday and have a different perspective? Of course. So, can I look at something in the past and have a perspective that\u2019s different than the one I\u2019ve always held? Of course. And when I do, the past is revised.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know about you, but I\u2019m not the same person I was in the past. I\u2019ve grown. I\u2019ve evolved. I have more tools, more faith, more gratitude, more understanding, more awareness, a greater capacity for love and compassion. When I look at the past from my current viewpoint, it looks different. And that\u2019s my major tool for changing the past and forgiving\u2014looking at it from my current viewpoint. So I\u2019m not talking about turning my back on the past, rather, I\u2019m working on \u201cturning the other cheek\u201d to it, meaning I can look at it more and more as the spiritual being I am. I can look at it more and more from a place of wholeness, of love, of my innate divinity. When I do that, it changes.<\/p>\n
Forgiving isn\u2019t forgetting. It isn\u2019t condoning or losing and it isn\u2019t a sign of weakness. It has nothing to do with whether or not the person I\u2019m working to forgive deserves it. I choose to change the past and forgive for ME, because as soon as I change the past I\u2019ve improved my present. As soon as I stop running with any of the scissors I\u2019ve carried around, I experience less pain. I am freer to unfold my deepest desires and intentions. I am freer to suffer less. I am freer to experience joy. It\u2019s as simple as that.<\/p>\n
I will continue this discussion in my next post, but in the meantime\u2026if that\u2019s all I remember, that\u2019s more than enough for now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It\u2019s funny how my perspective on things can change so much, especially on things I was once absolutely convinced about. If only I can remember that when I become so convinced about an opinion or perspective that I make someone … Continue reading